Not-a-pumpkin pie

Toot tooot!! Arrruuuuuuggaa! Beep beep!

That, dear friends, is the sound of me honking my own horn.

This is because just this past weekend, I sucessfully transformed this:into this:(Thank you, Ramona)

That is to say, I harvested our not-pumpkins and turned them into the most indescribably delicious not-pumpkin-pie I've ever, ever had.

Backing up here. You see, these are not pumpkins:I know this because the seed packet sent to me by my mother described them as "really good acorn-type squash I forget the name." However, there are doubters in our midsts.

Laurie, for one. She swears it's a pumpkin. Now would you believe her?

Erik doubts, too! (this is his best skeptical look)But the real kicker is that my own mother is thowing me under the bus. She claims to have planted the same seeds, and, voila, out popped things that really really resemble pumpkins.
Thanks a lot, Mom.

So here's how to make it, in case you come across any not-pumpkins wherever you live. I've based this recipe loosely off of the Maple Pumpkin Pie recipe I found on Epicurious.com.

Phase 1: prepare not-pumpkin (or use canned pumpkin, but really, what's the point?)

1. Admire not-pumpkin2. Then get someone else to cut it in half. (I couldn't bring myself to do it.)3. Scoop out seeds (I saved mine for you...more on that later)

4. Bake face-down in oven at 400 degrees until soft.

5. Gather ingredients for crust:

• 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

6. Mix dry ingredients in blender/food processor.

7. Add cold butter chunks and pulse until coarse meal forms. Add only enough ice water to help form dough. Do not over blend. (You can also use iced orange juice if you want.)

8. Turn out onto lightly floured surface, gently form into a ball and cut in half. Cover with plastic wrap, press into disks and refrigerate. The recipe said for 2 hours, but really, just do it until it's cold if you don't have time to wait. 

9. Once chilled, roll out and place into pie plate. Pinch edges, poke surfaces with a fork (to prevent air bubbles from distorting the crust) and bake for about 10 minutes at 400 degrees. Set aside to cool. 

 10. Gather pie filling ingredients:

• 2 eggs
  
• 3/4 cup half and half (I didn't have any, so I used whipping cream and milk)
  
• 6 tablespoons pure maple syrup (use a little more)
  
• 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract (use more)
  
• 1 1/2 cups not-pumpkin
  
• 6 tablespoons (packed) brown sugar (use a little less)
  
• 3 1/2 teaspoons all purpose flour
  
• 1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

11. Blend wet ingredients well in large bowl. Whisk dry ingredients in second bowl and add not-pumpkin. Add dry mixture to wet mixture and blend well.

12. Pour into pie crust and bake at 400 degrees for about an hour (a touch more) until it's all puffy and doesn't jiggle much when you shake the rack. Allow to cool. (Ha. We didn't and it was still amazing.) Serve with generous portions of fresh whipped cream sweetened with a tad of honey and vanilla.