Live blogging the NCAA Championship

Well, sort of.

See, there are two parts to married life. The first is proximity. Example: after dinner, Erik and I are sitting on the couch together. The second is compromise. Example two: 'we' are watching basketball. But not just any game -- a 'very important' game, I am reminded.

So I'm going to live blog about what I'm thinking about, which is about how I just planted a crazy amount of asparagus, or what the seed company promises will someday be asparagus.

Because right now, it looks like a 3-day dead squid:

Ah, this just in: "Butler knocking down threes like crazy from way outside the line to go up one."

I have no idea what that means.

Back to asparagus.

So it arrived in a box today with the strawberries we ordered. Our plan was to plant 4 little squares of asparagus, and allow that to become the permanent asparagus stand. But as you can see, we had quite a few of these little roots (or 'crowns' as they're called).

Game time interruption: something just happened in slow motion involving an orange ball and about 4 armpits.

So instead of 4 squares, we cleared 6 and decided to plant the rest in the back garden.

Time out; Duke. 2:40 to go in the half.

We dug down about 6-8 inches and placed the crowns kinda far apart (but not as far as the direction sheet recommended), and fanned the roots out.

Interruption: apparently, there's a button on our remote control that freezes the image on the TV. Amazing.

Then we covered them up with dirt. Yay.

Going to the half - a one point game. Many cheerleaders.

I scooped up the rest of the crowns and assessed the back garden.

In my digging, I encountered what could only be buried treasure simply because it was too big for me to dig out myself. Intrigued, Erik came along with his shovel to help.

We figured out what it was: a concrete footer for an old fence. But it left an astounding hole, perfect for me to sit in.

(That's my impression of a spring bulb. A 'tulip,' to be exact.)

And the sun went down, so I worked fast. Here they are - planted.

Apparently, it's still halftime, so they keep showing spirited and informative segments about how fabulous these teams are. And still more slow motion and color commentary. Lots of mentioning about how "hard these guys work."

Strawberries have to wait until tomorrow, I'm afraid. I leave you with some pretty tidbits to give you a sense of how the garden grows.

Chard (overwintered):

Lettuces (various types):

Kale (Lacinato):

Spinach:

And my perennial favorite:

Game's tied. Wait, no, now 36-38. Wait, no - tied again.

I'm going to bed. Y'all are just going to have to watch the game yourselves.

Rainwater collection system

Though gardening can save you money, be prepared for your water bill to increase significantly if you water your garden the way I did last summer. This year, we're trying something different, and, I think, better for us, the plants and the environment.

Erik installed this rainwater collection system (aka, a 55-gallon barrel with some non-fancy plumbing) that directs the pure, free stuff directly to my garden hose. I especially appreciate that the water is free from additives such as fluoride which are added to protect our teeth. Fluoride is toxic to plants (and to us, really, but we're bigger). I made this little video showing the blue wonder in action.

Triumph of (or over) the Brussels sprouts

I don't know whether to declare victory or defeat. Perhaps, I should borrow a phrase from Jon Stewart, and declare the Brussels sprouts experiment a "Mission Accomplicated." Because that's what it was. Those 'sprouts were such a pain in my ass, they took forever to grow, they threw off the design of my neato cold frames, but oh.

oh,

they were so delicious.

((Disclaimer here is that the story of this harvest is slightly used news in that I've been sitting on this post (chewing on this post?) for several weeks now and have not had the time to put cursor to monitor. Forgive and forget, if you please.))

Remember this guy?And the cute little sprouts? (that only toward the end ceased to look like the nipples of a pregnant dog and more like veggies?) Well, on a dark and stormy night, a monster emerged from the shadows wielding sharp blades, a blinding light emanating from it's menacing brow.The monster swung, and hacked, and chopped.But nothing happened.

So the monster handed the terrifying blades to its co-monster, who swung and hacked and chopped.Again, to no avail. With an angry roar, both monsters grabbed the 'sprout and ripped it from the earth intact.

And then they washed it off and scratched their heads at what to do next.OK. Enough with the third-person.

Then we snapped off the leaves and determined that it would not fit in the oven to roast.It was enormous, and we soon discovered that cutting it was impossible.

Except, that is, with a table saw.The stalk of the Brussels sprout is amazing.That ring you see has the texture and density of wood, and no kitchen knife or garden shear could dent it. It's damn impressive.

So impressive, we had to eat it.

But first, I brushed it with some olive oil and garlic,and stuck in in the oven, whole, to roast at 420 degrees for about 10 or 15 minutes.

Sprinkled it with salt, served it on a platter and cut each sprout off with a paring knife.

It's the vegetarian's version of eating meat off the bone.

And it was de-lish.

Overdue autumn garden update

Wowee. Is anyone else ready for this election to be over? When that happens, maybe I can go back to Massachusetts and remind myself what my husband, cat and garden all look like. Until then, it's pretty much all work and travel, all the time. At least it's been fun.

So I have Erik to thank for this update that he lovingly wrote for me to keep me connected to my, ahem, roots. Here 'tis:


I went out this morning in my role as surrogate gardener and I'm here to report that your garden is happy but it misses you.

As for the front garden. Your peppers are happiest of anyone out there. As you will see, you are continuing to get color on a couple but the majority seem to be pretty certain they're just going to be green. I had to stake up a few as they had been loosing the battle with gravity in our absence. None appear to be over ripening so I'm leaving them up for now.

Parsley and radishes all look great. Basil and chives are continuing their reliable presence. Lettuce is coming along nicely although at a seemingly slower rate than in the spring. The squash plant is still trying to pump out fruit despite the fact that it's support system is withering up.
And I've come to the conclusion that our brussell sprouts are just going to be small. The biggest ones at the base of the plant are all starting to bush out a little bit rather than staying in their compact little head of leaves. Maybe I should try to cook up a few? They're still no bigger than a quarter.
And finally, the sad news, the remaining cantaloupe won't be waiting for your return. Its stem somehow got disconnected and the fruit has turned a ripe-looking whitish orange. I don't know what order that happened in but I'm guessing it was somehow prematurely disconnected from the vine. It is currently the size of a softball. A little rot had set in and it had become home to a number of fruit flies but i took it inside anyway and cut it open. As you'll see it looked quite nice. In it's honor i did try some but to be honest the flavor was so so and it was pretty over ripe and soft.
To the back garden now. Turning the corner of the garage, I found the back garden awash in red. Lots of tomatoes are getting close to ripe and a number had ripened and returned to the ground while we were away. I assume you took down all the squash vines in the back corner because they are now gone. Carrots all look happy (at least the their little green head tips). Purple bean plant is still spitting out purple beans (see the picture of the husky little bean I found) and it has currently got the neighboring tomato plant in a convincing sleeper hold. It is hard to tell where the bean plant ends and the tomato plant begins. And there are some new pink flowers in the bed by the driveway. Compost has been added to and turned. The back compost looks great. Not smelly and I could only identify the most recent additions. The front has a ways to go though and is still very full.

I think that is it.


(Thank you, Erik! - This is what I've been up to here in Ohio.)

Not-a-pumpkin pie

Toot tooot!! Arrruuuuuuggaa! Beep beep!

That, dear friends, is the sound of me honking my own horn.

This is because just this past weekend, I sucessfully transformed this:into this:(Thank you, Ramona)

That is to say, I harvested our not-pumpkins and turned them into the most indescribably delicious not-pumpkin-pie I've ever, ever had.

Backing up here. You see, these are not pumpkins:I know this because the seed packet sent to me by my mother described them as "really good acorn-type squash I forget the name." However, there are doubters in our midsts.

Laurie, for one. She swears it's a pumpkin. Now would you believe her?

Erik doubts, too! (this is his best skeptical look)But the real kicker is that my own mother is thowing me under the bus. She claims to have planted the same seeds, and, voila, out popped things that really really resemble pumpkins.
Thanks a lot, Mom.

So here's how to make it, in case you come across any not-pumpkins wherever you live. I've based this recipe loosely off of the Maple Pumpkin Pie recipe I found on Epicurious.com.

Phase 1: prepare not-pumpkin (or use canned pumpkin, but really, what's the point?)

1. Admire not-pumpkin2. Then get someone else to cut it in half. (I couldn't bring myself to do it.)3. Scoop out seeds (I saved mine for you...more on that later)

4. Bake face-down in oven at 400 degrees until soft.

5. Gather ingredients for crust:

• 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

6. Mix dry ingredients in blender/food processor.

7. Add cold butter chunks and pulse until coarse meal forms. Add only enough ice water to help form dough. Do not over blend. (You can also use iced orange juice if you want.)

8. Turn out onto lightly floured surface, gently form into a ball and cut in half. Cover with plastic wrap, press into disks and refrigerate. The recipe said for 2 hours, but really, just do it until it's cold if you don't have time to wait. 

9. Once chilled, roll out and place into pie plate. Pinch edges, poke surfaces with a fork (to prevent air bubbles from distorting the crust) and bake for about 10 minutes at 400 degrees. Set aside to cool. 

 10. Gather pie filling ingredients:

• 2 eggs
  
• 3/4 cup half and half (I didn't have any, so I used whipping cream and milk)
  
• 6 tablespoons pure maple syrup (use a little more)
  
• 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract (use more)
  
• 1 1/2 cups not-pumpkin
  
• 6 tablespoons (packed) brown sugar (use a little less)
  
• 3 1/2 teaspoons all purpose flour
  
• 1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

11. Blend wet ingredients well in large bowl. Whisk dry ingredients in second bowl and add not-pumpkin. Add dry mixture to wet mixture and blend well.

12. Pour into pie crust and bake at 400 degrees for about an hour (a touch more) until it's all puffy and doesn't jiggle much when you shake the rack. Allow to cool. (Ha. We didn't and it was still amazing.) Serve with generous portions of fresh whipped cream sweetened with a tad of honey and vanilla.